Fix My Speaker!

Adeola Aderounmu.

“You are a very stupid electrician you know!”

“I am not stupid and I am not an electrician!”  

“What are you then?”

“I am an engineer. I deal with electronics. Maintenance, installation and repair. And your job is not the first job I am doing, I get my customers and my reputation bam.”

“You are just giving yourself a useless title and yet you are very incompetent.”

“If I am incompetent, why did you bring your disc changer to me to repair?”

“I did not bring my disc changer to you just like that, someone recommended you to me. And what you have done now is to destroy the recommendation that I got about you. It is people like you that will turn a colored TV to Black and white. There is no way I am going to recommend you to anybody else. Lai lai!”

“Look at what you have done, eh? I gave you a very simple task to do. I told you to fix the player head and do a general servicing.  Wait, before I go on. Did you qualify as an electrician?”

“Bros, I dey respect you o! And it is better you respect yourself too. I told you that I am an engineer. If you don’t know, after my JSS 3, I attended Technical College in Malali. And when I came back to Lagos, I also did advanced electronics at Okoko Tech Institute.”

“I told you that I will re-fix your disc changer for you, that you should give me time. This thing is brain work and I don’t want to rush your work. I know I asked you to come back for it since Friday, but I told you that my in-law died and we went to bury him on that Friday that I asked you to come. And since we came back, I have not had time to relax my condition to begin serious work.”

“But today is Thursday, and tomorrow will make it one week since you told me that you will fix the problems you have created while trying to fix the player head.”

“The most annoying thing is that the lower speaker is sounding really bad; it was not like that the first time I brought it here. I told you to solve one problem, you ended up creating more. Even sef, why didn’t you buy new player head after all the amount of money that I gave you, plus transport, plus tips?” Why you go buy tokunbo? Who tell you say tokunbo good pass new and original?”

“My guy, you really disappointed me o. I no go lie for you. You know wetin, before I go now, I want you to give me the last appointment when I will come back and these are my terms:

1.       Fix the player head as e supposed be.

2.       Do the servcing wey I tell you before.

3.       Change the rubbers on both sides so that the cassette no go dey draw anyhow and make the cassette player no dey chop the tapes

4.       The one wey dey important pass be say, me I like good sound, so the lower speaker must sound like the time I buy-am new.”

“You see now say I don dey speak the language wey me and you understand wellu wellu. You know wetin again. Na vex I take reach here. I swear na fight I carry for mind because there is no way I go even carry am go give another electrician because I don lose hope on that kind approach.”

“The speaker na im dey pain me pass, as you know, na detachable. In fact, how you manage tamper with the thing sef, I never understand! Make sure say anything wey happen, my speaker dey sound fine. Na that one be koko for me” Now tell me, when make I come back wey you go don finish all these conditions patapata. Tell me last last date because I want make e be the last time I go come here. My shoe dey chop coming here today-tomorrow like person wey dey find work for no vacancy.”

“Okay, make I no deceive you. Sincerely, you need to believe me this time. I go do your work. I go fix everything and I go impress you. The only thing wey I go talk be say, your lower speaker na special one. The connection wey the thing get to the system na new detachable-evolution. You know say Japanese people dey craze. Na everyday them dey do new product and we too dey wake-up for here. We dey shine our eyes. E get one coiled cable and 2 plugs wey dey inside the high sea system wey I go need to change. Na wetin dey affect the sound output of the lower speaker. Once I change those things, your speaker go bam! No shakings!”

“Now wetin dey be say, you go give me additional N500 make I buy the cable and plugs for Alaba International and you know wetin-I go fix everything, I promise!”

“Ok, so you want me to pay you again. I no get N500. You buy the cable, coil or no coil, and the plugs, keep the receipt and fix everything. When I come, I go give you the N500 and any balance. But which time make I come back?”

“Bros, you too correct! I believe you. The man wey sabi, sabinus! You know say we dey do Ramadan now. I get small break. So, make you come back in 2 weeks, everything go don set. Make you bring Ramadan gift for your brother o!”

“No wahala, you know Christmas is coming too. So I will join early Christmas gift too in the package, but if my disc changer is not ready, especially if the Speaker is not sounding well, na me go sack you from this workshop. I swear!”

“Bros, as you talk, no wahala, no be fight, me and you don pally now, make you go come. 2 weeks no far.”