By Adeola Aderounmu

The wave of swapping political allegiance in Nigeria is out of this world. There is no need to assign a Guinness book of world record to it. It is super unique and there are just no other countries as contestants.

Last year five governors (s)elected on the platform of the PDP in Nigeria left their party and joined the APC. What would have been more honourable and sensible was to denounce the mandate they stole through the PDP. They kept their mandates while seeking desperate means of self-preservations. It’s purely unethical and somehow also a criminal act. People who rob Peter to pay Paul will always be diabolical.

Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers has been leading the pack of aggrieved governors and he is still at loggerhead with Mr. and Mrs Jonathan on several River state and national issues. When you read or hear about some of his ordeals, they are like in the movies. It is either he narrates the “police-and-thief episodes” or the “cowboys-on-the-mountains” version. But the series are endless and this makes Amaechi a good real life actor. One day Hollywood may come knocking for him because Nollywood will not be able to afford him.

But seriously, governors like Amaechi (and other swingers cum politicians) who have been swinging or running helter-skelter, changing political parties like their underwear would have done humanity a big favour by delivering services to their people and bringing them out of poverty and extreme hopelessness. Rather than serve with their whole hearts, they keep oppressing the poor and selling propaganda across Nigeria and even paying corrupt bloggers and social commentators to kiss their asses. Politics should be about service to the people, not ego or blandishment of persons.

But trust naija where looting remains the shortest criminal way to wealth, the name of the game is survival, not service. The other PDP governors that defected to the APC with stolen mandates are Alhaji Ahmed Abdulfatah (Kwara), Dr. Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso (Kano), Alhaji Murtala Nyako (Adamawa), and Alhaji Aliyu Wamakko (Sokoto). Nyako was given the shakings of his life penultimate week. He knows who not to blame while his sweat is un-dry.

Just a few days ago one Fayose was returned to Ekiti state house riding on the back of unlimited funds looted by the presidency in Abuja. He had been bundled out of the PDP, went to the APC and then returned to the PDP. In all of Ekiti, there is no one leader to stand tall among the people. There are generally no leaders in Nigeria but rulers abound. No one could stop the return of a looter to the same treasury he once looted. What has become of the children of Oduduwa? Orunmila must be shaking his head in disbelief.

It’s typical Nigerian syndrome, that those who steal more money have greater opportunity to own the government houses across Nigeria. As it is for the PDP, so it is for the APC, they just loot the treasury away while doing very little or sometimes nothing.

Does anyone remember Atiku Abubakar? He probably holds the title of the “chief prostitute” amongst Nigerian politicians. Between 1980 and 2014 he had been a founder or member of PFN, PDM, PDP, AC, PDP and APC. There is no doubt that this behaviour exemplifies lack of seriousness. It shows an unrepentant strong desire of a political prostitute to serve self rather than humanity.

Femi Fani-Kayode (FFK) is among this category of Nigerian political prostitutes. During the reign of Obasanjo he became a minister, first of culture and tourism, then of aviation. Under Yar Adua, he was investigated and arrested by the EFCC. Like many uncountable political-criminal cases, his trials relating to corruption and money laundry will drag until eternity. Then, they’ll fade away too and he’ll continue to claim innocence. In Nigeria, with the useless nature of the Nigerian judiciary, a James Ibori will always be innocent.

Mr. Fani-Kayode is now back in the PDP claiming that the APC is full of dictators. Thanks to Mr. Fani Kayode, we now know that the APC is also pursuing a jihadist agenda. Are we supposed to thank the moron of a corrupt general who cancelled the June 12 1993 elections? Perhaps the PDP is also no longer a nest of killers; it’s safe for some people to return.

Since the renewed romance with Aso Rock, Mr. Fani-Kayode will now have to disown all his “rubbishing” of Jonathan’s government including referring to it as the worst in corruption in the history of Nigeria. He will need Abati’s lesson notes. Nigerian politicians are too shameless.

You also have to wonder what the presidency and the Nigerian military are doing about Boko Haram and APC with all the intelligence and secrets at the disposal of FFK. Obviously FFK has also told us about the man without balls before he went back to his camp. Can Femi help Jonathan get his groove back? Can he help him to regain his balls?

But we know that the balls won’t matter once 2015 is secured by the PDP, for then FFK will likely become a minister again, under the same government (if PDP wins) he labelled as the most corrupt in Nigeria’s history. The toothless EFCC and the corruption-prone judiciary can suck it up in advance if they like.

One of the additions to the ranks of political prostitutes is the former governor of Kano State Ibrahim Shekarau. He’s done the full cycle in his prostitution journey moving from ANPP, to APC and now to PDP. Obviously his political experience can make him useful as a serving minister but it carries a previous taint of allegations of links to Boko Haram.

The ranks of people with alleged links to Boko Haram in the Jonathan government are increasing daily. What is FFK going to do about PDP and the Boko Haram appeasement tactics? Another mischievous angle to Shekarau’s appointment is that it is one of the several nonsensical political gimmicks in Nigeria. His impulsive appointment as a minister without a portfolio is coming on the heels of fundamental changes connected to the emirate in Kano, Northern Nigeria.

The journeys along the line of political prostitution can never be justifiable. It confirms the age-long fear that the major political parties in Nigeria are the fingers on a leprous hand. Some, like Atiku have done the cycle uncountable times. If you have sound principles and a convincing political ideology that are based on honesty, service to humanity and selflessness, there would be no need to change your political party like you change your underwear.

Again, the goal is clear in Naija’s peculiar but rotten politics: always put yourself in the best position to make political gains that will lead you to the treasury you can loot with impunity. The justice system will look away or help you get away if trials come.

It’s impossible to highlight all the unprincipled men ruining Nigeria but Femi Pedro the former deputy governor of Lagos State has been around too. From AD to Labour Party to PDP and now back to APC. I actually wrote about Femi Pedro here in the village square (see Nov 3 2007).

Someone responded then that he had dug his political grave when he left Tinubu’s party. That person saw the future. You wonder if Nigerian politicians are the hungry people actually. Their insatiable lust for wealth, power and ego is either evil or a special brand of psycho-egocentrism.

Olagunsoye Oyinlola must be really feeling princely. Even Jonathan is begging him to serve the PDP. Of course like the rest of the poli-thieves, the guy will keep serving his stomach. How can Olagunsoye missed the fact that Mr. Fayose got unlimited funds stolen in Abuja and his dreams came true in Ekiti in grand style?

I have no doubt that almost all Nigerian politicians are “dead on arrival” on money matters. They’ll kill for it. The forthcoming Osun state governorship election is already a box office thriller everyone is waiting for. Tax-payers money is about to go to the drain again!

Even common aides are shifting bases. Wonders will never end in Bongo! I can’t dwell on the two ordinary aides of Adams Oshiomole who are now political prostitutes in the PDP. But I can emphasise again that as long as the government treasury remains the shortest cut to sudden wealth in Nigeria, and in the face of non-existent honest mentorship manifesto in any of the political party, then the master-and-discipleship relationship or the governor-and-aide concept can rest in pieces.

What has been the saving grace for all categories of political prostitutes is simply the total failure of the Nigerian judiciary system. For we know that under normal circumstances many of these criminal-minded politicians would have been successfully prosecuted and many would have spent time at various prisons.

If punishments for political crimes and other crimes related to abuse of public offices had been in place before and after 1960, Nigeria would have been a paradise and probably the best place to live on earth. Currently, and sadly too, as an outcome of the sum of the activities of all these politicians and their military-junta counterparts/accomplices, Nigeria is ranked amongst the worst places to live in the world. It is still probably the worst place you want to have children!

Ironically, sometimes one wishes that the people can listen to these rulers and crooks very carefully. Just like Reuben Abati suggested in one of his many write-ups before tasting the forbidden fruits that revealed the real Abati, Mr. Rotimi Amaechi has also been quoted more recently as saying that Nigerians need to start stoning the politicians because of their corrupt practices.

Imagine if the Nigerian people start to stone all the crazy politicians looting the treasury at the local, state and federal levels. Maybe that will put Nigeria on the right path again if they are not replaced by similar crooks! There is also a problem of new set of crooks taking over from expired crooks.

Every 1 kobo that is stolen from any treasury in Nigeria contributes to the systemic poverty and these crooks can even steal 12 or 20 billion dollars in one swoop. It’s amazing the magnitude of corruption and impunity in Nigeria that allows the criminals to live large and rise above the law system. I cannot over emphasize this treasury-rape syndrome.

Nigerians are letting the politicians get away. Nigerians are allowing themselves to be fooled by the political parties and all the criminals that saturate these parties. The people are totally subdued mentally and even physically despite their numerical advantage. They act not in the face of obvious oppressions because their friends, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers and other family members are involved in the crime or are waiting to benefit from the insane system.

The political parties in Nigeria and their imaginary manifestos have never been significant especially after the second republic which saw to the demise of parties like the UPN popular in western Nigeria. Even the days of SDP and NRC provided Nigerians with distinct options.

Nowadays, the common people are happy to mortgage their future and that of their children for a 5kg bag of rice and peanuts as proven again (recently) in Ekiti state. The handicapped police are totally inefficient and the judiciary is absolutely corrupt dispensing justice on a cash and carry basis. In essence the institutions are grounded. This combination produces a dilemma of the highest order in Nigeria.

Come 2015, it won’t matter the prostitutes or group of prostitutes that seize Nigeria when the institutions are not working and at a time when the people are already deflated and defeated by both politicians and terrorists. Even if we turn on the fight for regional governments, it won’t matter if we allow the political prostitutes cum rapists to return to their different regions to continue the rampage and rape locally.

For Nigerians, the roads to freedom within Nigeria or in the different nations that may emerge remain a very long one. Nigerians have one more walk to do. It will be the longest walk of their lives. Freedom from political and mental slavery will never be given on a platter of gold. It must be earned.

Such freedom will not come from the “dead on arrival idea” of a useless rotational presidency coming from the secluded and retired minds caged in a carnival-like arena in Abuja.

Nigeria’s longest walk to freedom which will rid the country of sycophants and low-grade mediocres and hopefully re-establish the institutions that will serve humanity and posterity will come from a united, purposeful and well orchestrated revolution of sound minds and committed citizenry.

aderounmu@gmail.com