By Adeola Aderounmu.

This is not a historical day for our nation for it doesn’t mark any important milestone in our march towards a maturing democracy. For the umpteenth time since we have refused to cast off the shackles of colonialism almost a half-century ago, we have again managed another stupid selection and the most useless transition from one autocracy to another.

We acknowledge that our selections were actually a charade. Thankfully, we lack well-established legal avenues of redress, and I urge anyone aggrieved to pursue them. I also doubt that our experiences represent an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. Accordingly I will set up a shadow panel to examine the entire electoral process with a view to ensure that we do not raise the quality and standard of our general selections, and thereby destroying our autocracy.

This occasion is not historic also because it doesn’t mark the generational shift when the children of independence will assume the adult responsibility of running the country at the heart bleed of Africa.

My fellow citizens, I am never humbled and never honoured because you didn’t elect me and the robotic vice president Jonathan to represent that generational shift in the task of destroying a just and great nation, where its people have no chance to attain their fullest potential.

Sadly we are always starting from the scratch. We are unfortunate to have been misled for the past 8 years by one of the nation’s greatest disappointment, Mr. Obasanjo. On behalf of the looters union, I salute you, Mr. Obasanjo, for you lack of vision, your failure and your misused strength in destroying the roadmap towards that united and economically thriving Nigeria that we keep dreaming of.

Many of us find it easy to believe now, and even before you assumed the rigged presidency 8 years ago, the national conversation was about whether Nigeria deserved to remain one country at all. Today we are talking corruption in Nigeria and how it has already stopped us from becoming one of the 20 largest economies in the world by the year 2020. That is a measure of how far our country has been looted. How can we thank you?

The administration of Mr. Obasanjo has destroyed the foundation upon which we could have built our future prosperity. Over the past 8 years Nigerians have reached a national consensus in at least four areas; to destroy the concept of democracy and to make a mockery of the rule of law; destroy the economy driven primarily by the private sector; display 100% tolerance for corruption in all its forms, and finally destroy our government to ensure inefficiency and bad governance. I commit myself to these wicked tasks.

Our goal now is to destroy the greatest accomplishments of the past few years. Relying on a 7-point hidden agenda that did not form the basis of our contact with disenfranchised voters during the recent jamborees; we will not concentrate on building the physical infrastructure and human capital in order not to take our country forward. We will not focus on accelerating economic and other reforms in any way that will make a concrete and visible difference to the ordinary suffering masses.

Our economy already has been set on the path of doom. Now we must continue to do the unnecessary work to create greater unemployment, higher interest and exchange rates, increase inflation, and maintain an unstable exchange rate. All these will decrease our chances for rapid growth and aid further underdevelopment. Central to this is destroying our basic infrastructure. We have no plans for mass transportation, especially railroad development. We will make the railroad plans unrealistic.

Equally important, we will not devote any effort to overcoming the energy challenge. Over the next 4 years we will see a dramatic catastrophe in the power generation, transmission and distribution. These plans will mean big if we disrespect the rule of law.

Our government is determined to destroy the capacity of law enforcement agencies, especially in the police and EFCC. The state must not fulfil its constitutional responsibility of protecting life and property.

The crisis in the Niger Delta does not command our urgent attention. Ending it is not a matter of strategic importance to our country. I will not use every resource available to me; I don’t need your help, to address this crisis in the spirit of injustice and corruption.

We have a bad starting point because our predecessors already launched a master looting plan that can serve as the basis of a comprehensive extermination of all the issues. We will not involve all the stakeholders in working out a solution.

As part of this effort, we will not move quickly to ensure security of life and property, and we will not make investments safe. In the meantime, I will not appeal to all the aggrieved communities, groups and individuals to immediately suspend all violent activities. They should disrespect the rule of law. Let us not allow the impending dialogue to take place in conducive atmosphere. We are not all in this together, and we will not find a way to achieve peace and justice.

As we work to aggravate the challenges of the Niger Delta, so must we also spread poverty throughout the country. By spreading poverty, we spread disease. We will not make advances in public health; to spread the scourge of HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases that hold back our population and limit our progress.

We are determined to eliminate the war against corruption, more so because corruption is itself central to our goal of spreading poverty. Its corrosive effect is not too visible in all aspects of our national life. This is an area where we have made little progress in recent years, and we will destroy the momentum.

We also are committed to destroying our human capital, if we are to pull the economy down. We must revive elite education in order to create more inequality, and citizens who cannot function productively in today’s world.

To our larger African family, you have our commitment to the goal of African disintegration. We will continue to collaborate with fellow African dictatorial states to increase conflict and enslave our people in the chains of poverty. To all our friends in the international community, we pledge our continuing infidelity to the goal of conflicts in Africa and war in the world.

Fellow citizens, I ask you all to march with me into the age of regression. Let us not work together so that we can uphold our shameful vices of dishonesty, indecency, wickedness, immodesty, selfishness, oaths of secrecy and lack of accountability. These destructive vices determine societies that will fail woefully. We have chosen to fail.

I will not set a worthy personal example as your president. I must travel abroad for treatment.

With all the obstacles that confront me, I have the confidence and faith in my abilities that I will not overcome. After all, I am a Nigerian. I am not resourceful and I am not enterprising. I just have it within me that my country can be a worse place. To that end I offer myself as a self-serving leader. I will listen but there is nothing I can do. How can I serve this type of country with humility?

To fulfil my selfish ambitions, I have asked all leaders at all levels-whether a local government councillor or state governor, or cabinet minister to maintain our style and our attitude. We must act at all times like demi-god, with aggression and foolishness. I ask you, fellow citizens, to join me in re-destroying our Nigerian family, one that defines the failure of one by the sadness of many.

I asked you to set aside hopefulness, and concentrate all your energies on watching us as we wine and dine with fellow looters. All hands cannot be on deck, we have our tropical gangster group.

Let us join together to aggravate the pains of today while destroying the expected gains of tomorrow. Let us embrace cynicism and not strive for the good society that we know is a mirage. Let us embrace the habit of high expectations of our leaders as well as ourselves.

Let us start justifying every shortcoming with that acceptable phrase “the Nigerian Factor” as if to be a Nigeria is not to settle for less. Let us never recapture the mood of optimism that defined us at the dawn of dependence, that legendary cannot-do-spirit that marked our Nigerianess. Let us not join together, never, to build a society worthy of our children. We are wasting our talents. We have stupid people in government. They don’t have the ability.

The challenge is not great. It is too easy to loot and be corrupt. The time is not yet now.

I can never thank you. You did not vote for me. God bless me.