My Random Reflections @ 46

July 12, 2018July 11, 2020 / Adeola / Leave a comment

For my random reflections at 46, my thoughts are varied (as usual) and the physical and emotional pains l feel are real. I cry many times for Nigeria. I’m living through some of the saddest days of my life as a Nigerian as l continue to see the disconnection between the people and the government. I kept a mental image of the country Nigeria ought to be and l compare it with the reality that l face everyday as a Nigerian-born and my heart bleeds, profusely.

By Adeola Aderounmu

A trailer fell on Lagos road due to the bad state of the federal roads. (c) Adeola Aderounmu, Lagos. July 2018.

This is the 11th edition of my random reflections. I have done this for a decade to mark the celebration of my birthday. However it is hardly a celebration now because as l take a look at my country of birth Nigeria, all that comes to mind is the tragedy that befell the country.

Today’s Nigeria is a far cry from what the founding fathers dreamt of. Nigeria in 2018 is mostly in the hands of criminals who people wrongfully tagged as politicians.

The things l will write about today are repetitions (more or less) of what l have written about in almost 20 years.

Nigeria had gone a full cycle. Western Nigeria especially had gone from being one of the best places to live in the world (during the 1950s) to probably the worst place to live in the world today. This can be argued depending on the writer or speaker.

If you think about the fact that Lagos of the 1950s was ahead or at par with London and Paris in terms of development and compare the 3 cities today, you may perhaps decide on which part of the argument you want to pitch your tent.

Many Nigerians are growing up without the knowledge that western Nigeria was the tourist destination and medical health center for other commonwealth countries in the 1950s. The University College Hospital in Ibadan was among the best places to receive medical help at that time.

Many people have grown up not knowing that Nigeria was meant to be a super power based on regional government. It was on that path until the mid-1960s when things began to fall apart. The 1966 military coup and the civil war from 1967 to 1970 set the tone for what Nigeria is today.

Nigeria is now ranked as the poverty capital of the world.

The way things are now in Nigeria should bring tears to the eyes of anybody who has some sense and emotions.

You ought to be very, very sad if you can compare living in Nigeria with living in another country like Sweden.

If you travel on Badagry expressway and remain a normal person, you deserve some accolades. If you wake up early to go to work and return late at night, you need a thumb-up. If you are sick and manage to remain strong through it, you are the man/woman. If you struggle between thick and thin to put food on your table, for yourself or for your family, that is an everyday miracle.

The stories of our struggles in Nigeria are endless. The people running the government of Nigeria at all levels ought to be arrested, prosecuted and tried for crimes against human dignity as well as crimes against humanity.

The people of Nigeria need to get up one day and march down the entire country with a resolution that never again shall we be slaves in our country.

There is no justice from the Judiciary. There is no justice from the security agencies. There is no where you can turn to in Nigeria and find peace and equality for all men and women.

It is almost wrong now to describe Nigeria as a country because for a country to exist the welfare of the citizen must be paramount.

Nobody cared about my welfare in Nigeria. My basic right to education was long gone. Job creation and availability are not guaranteed as both public and private enterprises provide their own electricity and security.

A lot of enterprises, big, small and medium have closed businesses as they could no longer bear the cost of running businesses. Many have closed because of the raids from criminals and other gangs of unemployed youth.

Nigeria is as lawless as it can be. I can give examples of lawlessness from every office, organization and institution in Nigeria. I can give uncountable examples from walking down the streets and driving on the dangerous roads.

Most parts of Lagos are dirty and stinking. The roads, especially the federal roads are terrible and the worst in the whole world. Don’t believe the juicy images from Victory Island or Ikoyi. This is Lagos 2018! (c) Adeola Aderounmu. July 2018. Lagos

My frustration about Nigeria and how we got here knows no bound. My anger against how people behave, act, reason and talk is unquantifiable.

There is no plot for Nigeria at the moment. We sail to nowhere led by vagabonds!

One of the most painful things about Nigeria today is the lack of unity among the people. On the political stage, this lack of unity keeps the useless unitary system running from 1966. Nigeria will never make it as a country with the senseless system of government.

You must be a senseless person to operate or partake in a senseless system of government. Nigeria is a joke in the comity of nations and this system of government where one man sits in Abuja and tries to control everything in and around the country is the most telling on the intelligence of the most populous black nation in the world.

We are a bunch of jokers!

The unity that Nigerians need is the acknowledgement that the system of government needs to be dismantled without fear or war. The unity that Nigerians need is to trace their steps back to when Nigeria was among the global pacesetters in development and good quality of life.

Without that unity, Nigeria will remain permanently as the representative of the poverty capital of the world. For those who think this is unreal, my suggestion is for you to take a flight to Lagos and drive from the airport to Mile 2. From there take the ride of your life along Badagry expressway to Agbara and continue your journey to Atan towards Ota.

If you don’t find the pieces of evidence that Nigeria is a massive (s-hole), l’ll refund you for the ticket and trouble.

For my random reflections at 46, my thoughts are varied (as usual) and the physical and emotional pains l feel are real. I cry many times for Nigeria. I’m living through some of the saddest days of my life as a Nigerian as l continue to see the disconnection between the people and the government. I kept a mental image of the country Nigeria ought to be and l compare it with the reality that l face everyday as a Nigerian-born and my heart bleeds, profusely.

aderounmu@gmail.com

@aderinola

The Dangers Of Hypocrisy

May 5, 2018May 5, 2018 / Adeola / 1 Comment

I am still looking for those who resigned and blew the whsitle when Jonathan and his crew (both in PDP and APC) were looting the treasuries. I am now looking for those who are going to leave the Buhari government and blow the whistle (both in the APC and PDP) as a result of the budget padding and scandalous national/state security situation. Mr. Buhari himself should have resigned along with Lai Mohammed for misleading the world when they stated at the end of december 2015 that they had defeated Boko Haram.

The Dangers Of Hypocrisy By Adeola Aderounmu

Adeola Aderounmu

There are no limits to the repercussions of hypocrisy. It is worse when the hypocrisy runs parallel with lies and propaganda. Two other dimensions that can worsen the situation is the spread and the acceptance of hypocrisy as a trait or norm within a political structure or among the people of a country.

As you read this essay the banks in Switzerland are still sending more and more of the monies stolen by one famous Nigerian criminal called Sani Abacha. He was unfortunately a former dictator in Nigeria whose death remains a subject of controversy.

Despite the fact that his loots are finding their ways back to Nigeria (since the regime of Obasanjo), Nigeria’s current president Mr. Buhari is yet to acknowledge that Abacha was in fact a criminal. This hypocrisy is dangerous and heart wrenching. This singular denial also shocks me when people say Buhari is not corrupt. I don’t understand how people don’t see the links.

Invariably the act of being a hypocrite extends to hangers-on of political associations. It cut across and destroys the consciences of both the enlightened and the disenfranchised as well as the educated and the ignorant. If Nigeria finally implodes, hypocrisy will not be left out as one of the diseases that sunk her.

If you listen keenly to Femi Adeshina you will find an example of a person who lost his mind and threw away his conscience to the lagoon all in the name of having a job and earning a mega pay. There were (before him) people like Reuben Abati, Reno Omokri and Segun Adeniyi. With him is a guy called Ogunlesi who thinks the rest of us are ordinary lower animals.

In my exposure to other countries where several of these spokesmen have also lived or visited before relocating to Aso rock, there is always a limit or threshold to how long an aide can defend a boss or get enveloped in the same cycle of ignobility.

What happens to the ability to resign or walk away to save one’s good image? Invariably my conclusion is simple: it takes a rogue to defend a rogue in matters of public accountability. It also takes selfishness and wickedness to turn blind eyes to the realities on ground in the daily existences of Nigerians.

Like l mentioned above, the realm of hypocrisy in Nigeria is massive. Therefore it is unforgiving that even professor Osinbajo lately said APC is not a corrupt government. But he is fully aware that APC integrated into its fold former PDP looters and existing APC looters. Their common saving grace is the unforgiving failure of the justice system in Nigeria. I always maintain that Nigerian laws remain useless as far as criminal politicians continue to rule Nigeria.

Osinbajo also said that APC is more honest than PDP. Since when did accountability to the people become a relative term? APC is confused. When the spree of murders and genocide escalated under this regime, APC stated that more people died during Jonathan’s PDP regime. My understanding of that conclusion is that the Nigerian life is worthless. Why else would number of deaths be comparative?

Late afromusic king Fela warned us many years ago about all those that do bad things in the names of their religious lords. We did not listen. We are still not paying attention.

Today l am neither for the APC nor for the PDP. I will go for a new orientation. It is about time people understood my stance nearly 12 years into this act of blogging. I stand for good government only. My inherent hatred for corruption and lack of independent reasoning have no bounds and it has no connection to religious or non-religious morality.

By a manner of another perspective and changing lanes, when next you read a criticism of the Buhari government from Reno Omokri, help me ask him where he was when Mrs. Jonathan and Mrs. Diezani Alison-Madueke where emptying the Nigerian treasury under the watchful eyes of Jonathan. Of course he would call it propaganda.

It is the same way everything was propaganda in the eyes of Segun Adeniyi of the Yar Adua regime. Now all you read here is propaganda for Mr. Adeshina. Wait for him to be out of the corridor of power. We saw Reuben Abati out, in and out again.

My take on some hypocrites is that they actually have their criminal minds before participating in all these serial governments of looters. How many more hypocrites and pretenders are going to emerge in 2019 if we don’t break this cycle of national madness?

I don’t even appreciate the headlines from people like Ngozi Iweala. Anyone that has been part of the governments in Nigeria and under whose watch or in whose presence massive looting had taken place is a bloody hypocrite.

I am still looking for those who resigned and blew the whistle when Jonathan and his crew (both in PDP and APC) were looting the treasuries. I am now looking for those who are going to leave the Buhari government and blow the whistle (both in the APC and PDP) as a result of the budget padding and scandalous national/state security situation. Mr. Buhari himself should have resigned along with Lai Mohammed for misleading the world when they stated at the end of december 2015 that they had defeated Boko Haram.

Mr. Donald Trump it appeared had no balls afterall. A straight talk would be to inform Mr. Buhari of his primary duty as the president of Nigeria. Buhari has failed and he is still failing to protect Nigerians. He, as well as the looters in the Nigerian senate, is failing to see the need for the immediate restructuring of Nigeria and the introduction of state police.

The hogwash in the White House led to increase in attacks in Nigeria. The long term consequences of the dangers poised by national and international hypocrisy and the passiveness of the drained Nigerian people are yet to be evaluated. But the signs are already very, very bad.

I can understand to some extent the feeling of party affiliation. What l cannot understand is the lack of will to stand with the truth. But l know many people are predictable in their love for money, power and position. Many people always discard the essence of public service because they want to remain relevant in the (dis)order of things in Nigeria.

These people look forward to recognition, gains and consolidations when the ocassion arises. So they cannot give up their hypocritic garments for honourary ones.

And since this is the way things work in Nigeria, the country dips deeper in national crises. We argue unnecesssrily on issues of common sense and we are a country left behind. We are sick. We need healing.

If a few good men and women are given the task of redirecting Nigeria back to the place where we were in december 1965, and if these men and women are honest and have no spirit of hypocrisy, if they are not concerned about getting rich or owning mansions in Dubai, America or London, or sending their children to schools in Ghana or USA, in less than 8 years (2 terms) Nigeria will be back again as one of the best places to live in the world. The people must be orientated about the dangers of hypocrisy and they must be ready to stand with these few good people. That is the hope of Nigeria and Nigerians.
Follow me on twitter @aderinola

aderounmu@gmail.com

Nollywood Is Failing Africa In The Appearances of African Women

February 24, 2018February 24, 2018 / Adeola / 1 Comment

African women should be proud to wear their natural hairs. They are beautiful just the way they are.

Nollywood Is Failing Africa

By Adeola Aderounmu

A few weeks ago l watched some films on a Nollywood TV channel. My attention was drawn to the appearances of the women in the various films.

The appearances of Nigerian women in Nollywood films are nothing to write home about. It may have been so before l left home in 2002 but definitely not as rampant as it is now. Regardless, the rise of the use of artificial hairs, now rampant in both real life and in the Nigerian movie industry is highly condemnable.

The almost complete disappearance of the African hairstyles in Nollywood films is extremely disturbing. In the movies l’d seen 100% of the women are wearing imported wigs/hairs. No one wore their natural hair.

It seems that our women are not proud of their natural beauties. This scenario is shameful and tasteless. It is actually also disgusting!

The continent of Africa had been suffering from colonial mentality for more than 500 years. When are we going to revert to our originalities? If not now, then when?

We have been lied to that we are inferior. We have been lied to that we have lower intelligence levels. We have been told that our skin is black and bad. We have been looked down upon and we continue to fight around the world that we are equal to or above other races.

We can leave our political calamities for once as the basis of comparison with other places around the world, though that is also a very difficult thing to do. For our political lives in Africa and how politics have been used to separate and destroy us cannot be overlooked. We are first judged by the outcomes of our political decisions and the implications on our socio-economic situations.

However, it becomes also very disturbing and worrying that we don’t seize the opportunities on other platforms we have to show ourselves in good light. By ourselves, we reduce or destroy our dignities. The appearances of the Nigerian women on Nollywood, are an admittance that African women have lesser dignity than other women around the world. The only way to turn this sad situation around is to reverse the trend, let African women look 100% African.

Nollywwod has the opportunity to showcase the beauty of the African woman but all she is showing is copied version of Hollywood women and copied version of some international celebrities that do not depict the true glory and beauty of Africa.

It is not a good development for Nigeria and definitely not for Africa when we replace our cultures, our traditions, our appearances and our dignities with foreign objects. We’ve lost it.

Nollywood in particular need to do a search within and start a campaign to promote Africa to the tune of 100%. Someone is going to ask what the roles of the government is in Nollywood that would make them do this. O well, Africa belong to all of us and we need to look inward and promote our traditional hairstylists and save billions of dollars that we waste annually on importation of disgusting wigs and dead people’s hairs.

There is a lot Nollywood can do for itself if it starts to act as a promoter of culture and custodian of tradition rather than a neocolonial stooge in the heart of Africa. We should promote our hairstyles and help African women and hairstylists travel round the world to showcase our hairstyles.

The onus is not on the women only. It is on all of us and our perception of beauty. Our men should be involved in promoting the glory of Africa too. They also must appear and dress African in our movies.

Viewers and watchers of the African movie industry have a role to play in appreciating our men and women as they do their best to maintain the African culture and tradition. We cannot condemn them by comparing them to foreign Hollywood stars. We are Africans.

It is Africa that should be exporting her tradition and culture because they are pure and golden. In these tradition and culture lie some hidden wealth of Africa that should be tapped just the same way we are imploring government to tap into both the natural and human resources in order to build a better continent to the envy of the world.

A word is enough for the wise. Let us join hands in various ways to promote these ideas and ideals. Africans in the diaspora also have their own roles to play. Keep your hair natural, keep your looks simple. Don’t change who you are because you are abroad. Be recognisable!

Share this view, spread the concept. Let’s win back our continent and our originalities. Every little way counts!

Follow me on twitter @aderinola

aderounmu@gmail.com

The APC-PDP “Dilemma Deluxe”

December 10, 2017December 10, 2017 / Adeola / Leave a comment

Under the APC-Buhari mandate, corruption became padded and embedded. For as long as this status quo exist, where the politicians and some other people are above the laws of the land, Nigeria will continue to exist in a combo of the APC-PDP dilemma deluxe or something similar.

The APC-PDP ”Dilemma Deluxe”

By Adeola Aderounmu

There is a joke that continues to make the rounds on the social media. It is about a citizen of Nigeria who appeared before his creator on judgment day. He told his creator that he was sure that he was not going to hell. His reason was that living in Nigeria during his lifetime meant that he had already been through hell. Now he must go into heaven.

Some jokes are not to be taken on their face values alone. In this case, the certainty is that ordinary citizens living in Nigeria are living in hell. Nigeria, like l always reiterate, is no ordinary country. The country, since 1960 when it claimed independent from Britain, had gone from one traumatic regime to the other. It had been a combination of both civilian misrule and military tyranny.

So, for nearly 60 years of her existence as a country, there had been a gradual corrosion of normalcy which has now reached a point whereby to be normal or to act normal in Nigeria is now the abberation. This unusual situation is now systemic. If you do something that is normal in Nigeria, people look at you twice and some people will define you immediately as non-Nigerian.

I remember an incident when someone asked me to do something for him and l quickly responded that l would not be able to do the task. But l added that l would recommend another person that would be suitable for the task. It was in a group chat and l could immediately detect the mood of others in the group. One person was bold enough to react. He said ”Adeola, you are definitely not a Nigerian. You could have accepted to do the job as a contract”.

That experience sums up Nigeria today. People are accepting to do things that they cannot do. Nigerians are offering positions and jobs to the wrong people. There are a lot of contracts and sub-contracts that drags in the system and everybody is taking advantage of the other person.

You have to be a fool in the eyes of the people to confess that there is something you cannot do when you can run around to find someone who can do it whilst pretending you are the one doing it. They call it business or hussle.

Meanwhile there are a lot of other things that you are good at but the Nigerian system invariably ensures that most people end up in the wrong branches.

The aberration of the abnormal becoming the normal and the unusual business of the wrong people and criminals running Nigeria lands me in the thought of the APC-PDP Dilemma deluxe.

In Nigeria the APC-PDP deluxe is simply an aggregation of criminals and opportunists who emerged in 1999 as the new (but actually old) custodians of Nigeria. They have wriggled around in cycles prior to 1999 and remain so till date and their sole aim is to continue to do the business of governance that they are not suitable for. They sustain themselves and their families directly and indirectly by stealing from the people.

From 1999 to 2015 the years that l predicted were going to be the worst days of our lives in Nigeria, it was the PDP that held sway and controlled the resources in the land. First there was a dictator turned democrat called Olusegun Obasanjo, who went from prison to become the president of Nigeria to end the brutal years of military rule for which he had been part and parcel of in the 1970s.

The people thought that his experiences as a former prisoner will liberate Nigeria. It did not. Today he regards himself as a saint. I am sure if one browses through my blog and search ”Obasanjo” one would see my opinion about him. In summary l regard him as one of the several criminals in Nigerian politics. Nigerians did not become free under him.

Then came Yar Adua who was implanted and imposed on Nigerians by Obasanjo himself. He died in office and my blog is not short of words about him. He tried a clampdown on bloggers but he did not live long enough to see where we are today. Nigeria did not become free under him. Social crusaders and online warriors will outlive bad government anywhere. It is a fight no government can win. It’s common sense!

Then entered one drunkard of a president who doled out Nigeria’s monies like a father Christmas. Jonathan’s wife is one of the richest Africans today. You will never be able to find an answer to why a first lady is amongst the richest Africans today. She has no job other than being the wife of the president. Of course she is a thief.

If you do a simple browse online, you will find out how one criminal called Diezani turned Nigeria’s oil money into her personal source of wealth. In my opinion all these people are mad. I cannot find another way to describe people who steal monies that are supposed to be used for the development of the country for personal gains.

So in 2015 the APC preached change, it gathered a few criminals from the PDP (including one Atiku who l have written about a few times) and merged with the criminals already in APC and CPC. They convinced the people that they are changed and they will bring change to Nigeria.

Remember that this is a country where normalcy does not exist. Otherwise all these politicians are supposed to be in prisons across the country. But they are free people, above the law and exclusive to say.

So the people gave a chance to the APC. Even me, l bought the lies in the end. When you have a president who is a drunkard and who does not seem to be able to control anything at all, of course you want a change.

This is the end of 2017, the APC has succeeded in only one thing.

They have succeeded in proving that the PDP was right. That there will be no change. That the people in the APC are the same as those in PDP.

The APC under Buhari is one of the most useless regime ever in Nigeria. In performance it ranked at the same level as the Jonathan administration before it, woeful!

In terms of corruption, it’s the same, same, same…

Whilst the looting was open and obvious under Jonathan, it is obvious but not open under Buhari. Under Buhari, corruption became padded and embedded.

The standard of living for the ordinary people did not improve. Things became more expensive. The Buhari government maintain a high level of propaganda through its Information minister, one Lai Mohammed whom everybody now called Liar Mohammed.

The media around Buhari is the most disastrous ever. It’s doing a job far worse than that of journalist turned political jobber Reuben Abati who served under the drunken regime.

It’s 2 years left on the Buhari administration and the signs are very bad. Politicians continue to steal, loot, and do whatever they like. They are above the law as the judiciary and law enforcement in Nigeria especially on matters relating to politics is almost 100% useless. I would be ashame if i was a lawyer in Nigeria. In terms of politics, the laws in Nigeria are worthless.

This is proven by the existence even in positions of the senate president and house of representatives leader who are both criminals. Almost all Nigerian politicians are criminals, so yes the laws and lawyers and judiciary are culpable.

For as long as this status quo exist, where the politicians and some other people are above the laws of the land, Nigeria will continue to exist in a combo of the APC-PDP dilemma deluxe or something similar.

Appendix

Some people always ask “what then is the solution”? This question is now “lame”.

Does anyone know how great Nigeria will be if all our politicians are “clean”?

Does anyone know how prosperous all Nigerians would have been if everybody did the right thing in public service, if criminals no matter their positions (president, councillors, senate president and others) are sent to prison?

How nice if the country is ruled by law and justice?

In any case, we now have something on the table. Take away the political power in Abuja because it will NEVER, NEVER solve Nigeria’s problem.

Bring the government back to the people just the way it was before the useless coups of 1966, promote justice, law and order. Send all the criminals in Abuja to their separate constituencies and let them build their region and economy.

Bring back the healthy competitions between the regions and watch Nigeria rise to stardom again. It won’t happen overnight but it would be gracious for our children and children’s children.

Den Afrikanska Kvinnan

November 12, 2017November 12, 2017 / Adeola / Leave a comment

Jag hyllar de afrikanska kvinnorna. Jag hedrar den goda nigerianska kvinnan. Nigeria måste, mer än någonsin tidigare, börja främja kvinnors rättigheter och jämställdhet mellan könen

DEN AFRIKANSKA KVINNAN

Av Adeola Aderounmu

The African woman, forever beautiful and strong

Jag bor i Stockholm, Sverige. Jag har varit pappaledig vid två tillfällen, vilket betyder att jag har varit ledig från jobbet för att ta hand om mina barn.

I vad som kan beskrivas som en omvandling av roller har jag skött om mina barn genom att ge dem materiellt, emotionellt och socialt stöd medan min fru arbetat måndag till fredag under den tidsperioden.

Mina reflektioner var mer intensiva under min andra pappaledighet. Här följer min berättelse.

Jag växte upp i en normal nigeriansk familj med bröder och systrar. Det jag kände till om min barndom, är förmodligen typiskt i de flesta nigerianska hemmen.

Våra mödrar var skyldiga att ta hand om hushållet medan våra fäder jobbade hela tiden.

Under vissa omständigheter skötte kvinnorna inte bara hemmen utan försörjde även familjen med det dagliga levebrödet. På ett sätt är det en väsentlig del av våra liv att lägga bördan av hushållssysslor och barnuppfostran på kvinnorna.

Mina erfarenheter som hemma-man i Sverige under en tolvmånadersperiod, med dubbelt ansvar att ta hand om mina barn och vårt hem i allmänhet, har övertygat mig om att denna aspekt av våra liv i Nigeria behöver ändras eller bytas ut.

Men utan ett ingripande från regeringen eller en mycket stark rekommendation från Nigerias kvinnodepartement kan det bli både tekniskt och byråkratiskt omöjligt att genomföra nya riktlinjer, inom både privata och offentliga institutioner, som skapar en högre grad av flexibilitet för föräldrar med respekt i att uppfostra sina barn.

Det förefaller som att denna fråga kommer bli en het debatt som står inför både motstånd och fördömelse eftersom det drivs ett icke önskvärt system i Nigeria, där många människor fortfarande anser att kvinnor är underlägsna männen. Jag kan föreställa mig att förespråka för lika rättigheter och möjligheter för kvinnor utifrån respekt för familjevärderingar i Nigeria, kan vara att efterfråga för mycket. Men det borde det inte vara.

Vi bör tillhandahålla en förlängd mammaledighet till nyblivna mödrar oavsett var de arbetar eller arbetets karaktär.

Dessutom behöver vi göra en studie eller kartläggning om hur föräldraledighet för båda föräldrar fungerar i länder som med framgång genomfört sådana program.

Jag vet att Storbritannien nu lägger mer uppmärksamhet på ett sådant program. Grundstommen är väl fungerande offentliga institutioner, en genomtänkt regeringspolitik och ett välgrundat undervisningssystem.

Jag tror inte det kommer innebära att en främmande kultur införs ifall pappor genomgår samma upplevelse som mammor, i form av att vårda sina barn under de tidiga formgivande åren eller hela spädbarnstiden.

Efter nio månaders graviditet med efterföljande förlossning behöver kvinnor både moraliskt och känslomässigt stöd och att ge dem förlängd mammaledighet och ett socialt stöd borde vara den minsta ansträngningen samhället kan bidra med.

Jag tror att ett av de troliga skälen att Nigerias befolkning fortsätter att explodera, trots den hårda ekonomiska verkligheten och det ofördelaktiga politiska klimatet, är för att många nigerianska män inte alltid är hemma för att fysiskt se skötseln av hemmet.

När de är hemma är deras prioritet att se på tv, läsa gamla dagstidningar eller att underhålla vänner medan de fortsätter att uppmanar sina fruar att göra både det ena och det andra.

Män behöver förstå smärtan och den besvärliga situationen hos kvinnor och de behöver inse att det krävs mer av en pappa än att bara vara spermadonator eller inkomstkälla.

Betydelsen av familjen som samhällets grundläggande enhet kan inte nog betonas.

Familjebandet och dess inlärda gemensamma värden är grundläggande delar hos den närmaste omgivningen och för nationen som helhet.

Det finns starka tecken idag på att kommunikationsklyftorna inom familjen blir större och det kan i hög grad ha bidragit till de socialekonomiska problemen vi har i Nigeria.

Naturligtvis är splittrade familjer och värderingar nu ett globalt problem.

Vissa pappor känner inte sina barn och många barn känner inte sina fäder. Sexuell obetänksamhet är till och med på uppgång vilket leder till barn i ett odefinierbart föräldraskap. Sällan är det då mamman som saknas.

När dessa luckor väl skapats under de formgivande åren är de vanligtvis svåra och ibland omöjliga att överbrygga. Klyftorna kan komma att fördjupas och bestå livet ut.

Skilsmässa och/eller att leva separat kan inte antas ge rätt till ett vårdslöst föräldraskap.

Många separerade föräldrar i olika länder fortsätter att fostra och försörja sina barn som de skulle gjort om de levt under samma tak.

Mina erfarenheter under pappaledigheten gav mig möjlighet att reflektera dagligen.

Vanligtvis tänkte jag inte bara på min mamma utan även på afrikanska kvinnor i allmänhet som symboler för styrka, mod och beslutsamhet. Jag frågade mig själv flera frågor.

Hur klarade dessa kvinnor av sex barn eller fler?

Klagade de sig någonsin över trötthet till sina män eller papporna till deras barn? Fanns det alltid någon de kunde dela sin smärta och frustration med? Vad gjorde de när de inte fanns någon att vända sig till?

Hur hanterade de all stress och situationer omkring dem? Vad gjorde de när de själva skulle vilja sova men barnen fortsatte gråta efter uppmärksamhet och tröst?

I korthet frågade jag mig själv, hur hanterade de alla dessa problem? Hur klarar de av det nu?

I varje familj fortsätter den afrikanska kvinnan att fullfölja sina skyldigheteter som hushållerska, i nöd och lust!

Jag hyllar de afrikanska kvinnorna. Jag hedrar den goda nigerianska kvinnan.

Jag kan inte heller sluta tänka på de ensamstående föräldrarna.

Jag undrar hur mycket repatriering som kan ge tröst åt dem för deras roller, deras motståndskraft, deras mod, deras tålamod och deras uppoffringar i kampen att hålla ihop hem och arbete.

Nigeria måste, mer än någonsin tidigare, börja främja kvinnors rättigheter och jämställdhet mellan könen. Med jämställdhet och erkännande av kvinnors och barns rättigheter blir det lättare att kontrollera födelsetalet.

Nigerias ekonomi lider av ständiga åtstramningsåtgärder och arbetslösheten förblir mycket hög men ändå har inte födelsetalet sjunkit.

Detta är en onaturlig trend, inte bara i Nigeria utan även i andra ekonomiskt utmanade länder eftersom de biologiska lagarna kräver annorlunda.

Det är särskilt irriterande att läsa eller höra om kvinnor som ger upp sitt vardagsliv på grund av sin karriär eller vise versa. Det finns ett behov att skapa flexibilitet för att tillåta en rimlig integration av arbetet och hemmet, som en källa för både tillfredsställelse och glädje.

Nigeria måste skapa eller se över situationen gällande ammande mödrar och sociala välfärdspaket. Vi behöver inte vänta på ett perfekt politiskt klimat innan vi börjar leva och njuta av våra liv.

Det är inget fel i att påbörja program som ger stöd åt medborgarna i Nigeria, även om den politiska klassen består av obotfärdiga lögnare och korrupta människor.

Det är en annan aspekt i vårt kollektiva ansvar att rädda oss ur sådana missförhållanden.

Genom att noggrant studera föräldraledighetens process i länder där framgång har uppnåtts, kan Nigeria påbörja ett okorrumperat nationellt socialförsäkringssystem som tillgodoser ammande mödrar i alla åldrar och kategorier.

Det borde vara utgångspunkten. Inom en överskådlig framtid blir samverkan med papporna i processen mycket användbart i att återuppbygga familjen och även säkerställa att våra kvinnor inte är överbelastade eller missbrukas.

Slutligen måste regeringen omforma och ge ny kraft åt familjeplaneringspolitiken, samtidigt som de betonar behovet av den.

Fördelarna med en överensstämmelse av familjeplanering av alla och en var kan inte överbetonas.

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Translated to Swedish by Louise Holmberg